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False Memory or False Belief?

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There are several possibilities to consider.

1. Has been abused and knows it. They've been abused, they know it, and our job with that client is to get them to release the guilt connected to it, because it's that which has been repressed. I've not yet had a client with this memory who had not got repressed guilt and fear. They let go of these emotions readily as a rule and we're unlikely to find ourselves with any real problems here.

2. Has been abused but does not know it. When they find it, they are incredulous at first, often thinking it's imagination. I usually say that it might be, but stay with it anyway, if it's what their mind wants to do. If it's a true memory, it will soon become real enough. There's usually huge emotional release - if you use a bio-feedback meter, you can't miss it, I promise you. Sometimes, the emotional arousal appears to be missing at first - no mystery, if you understand the nature of abreaction.

3. Has not been abused as such. If they get the idea into their head that they have been, they might begin to act accordingly, because those that latch onto the idea are usually Hysterics. The giveaway is a too-ready acceptance of the memory as reality with out of balance emotional responses. Again, the bio-feedback meter comes into its own, because if any arousal shows, it's going to be below the level you'd expect from the evidence of your eyes and ears. Trust the meter.

4. Does not want to discover abuse. It's often there in these cases, but you'll have difficulty getting them to face it, and sometimes a fair degree of negative transference, manifesting as anger, when they do. Once they have discharged the associated emotions, though, they'll usually announce that they don't feel anywhere near as bad as they had always believed they would if they found such a thing.

5. Wants to discover abuse. The dodgy one. He or she will seize on the tiniest shred of what they perceive to be evidence. They are usually Anal/Hysteric personalities and will attempt to get you to tell them that they're looking at abuse here. These people are dangerous to us, because if they make some sort of accusation about a relative somewhere along the line, only to discover that they could not possibly be right, then they're going to insist that their therapist must've put it into their mind. And they'd be believed.

So we really do have to be enormously careful. A child is dependent upon adults for their survival and their intention is generally to please. Their false beliefs may very well be detailed and dramatic, if they think that's what you want. Again, who is playing the role of the elder and who is playing the role of the child during therapy?

If you allow your client one tiny sniff of what you're seeking, then the chances are that you'll find it.

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Not surprisingly, several of those present took issue with me about my assertion that false memories do not exist as such. So I asked if anybody could give me a false memory and was quickly assured that any one present could (they were all therapists). I asked if they could give me a false memory of having won a million pounds at a Casino. Apparently not. It was tentatively suggested that only bad memories could be induced, 'because of the way the psyche works'. So I suggested they gave me a memory of having won and lost a million pounds in one evening at the Casino. Again, not a likely proposition apparently, though nobody seemed clear why this should be so. Not sexual enough, I reckon, and therefore not fashionable enough.

In a connected vein, it's very interesting to realise that in the 70's, it was not sexual abuse that was considered to be the cause of all our problems; it was parental neglect. Then, huge numbers of individuals who underwent any form of psychotherapy discovered just that in their past...

Satanic ritual, sexual abuse, neglect, bloody trauma or alien abduction.... be careful what you look for, because you - and your client - are sure to find it.

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